All Things Pride and Prejudice

No doubt Pride and Prejudice can be counted among the most sublime love stories ever written, but it's also one of the most true to life love stories ever written in that it illustrates perfectly the difference between the priorities that men and women seek in life.

Men are all about sex. In the 1995 adaptation, in the episode where Elizabeth comes to Netherfield to visit her sick sister, the director told Colin Firth to imagine he gets an erection when he sees Elizabeth. Colin Firth never revealed whether he had to imagine it or whether he managed to get an actual erection at the sight of Jeniffer Ehle, but that's beside the point here, the point being that men are essentially carnal. In other episodes we find Darcy contemplating the joy one (man) can derive from looking at a woman's eyes. When Darcy confesses his love to Elizabeth and tells her how he adores her, the male audience can see right through the web of euphemisms he's forced to weave by social norms all the way to the true meaning betrayed by the look in his eyes, which are saying, 'I want to rip off your clothes and do you right here on the floor'. That's men for you and Darcy is no different when stripped to his bare essentials. His desire for Elizabeth is so strong and so overpowering that he's even willing to forsake the social norms he professes to value so much and he's even prepared to tolerate Elizabeth's mother and younger sisters, whom he finds totally obnoxious; everything on the altar of sex.

Now women are different. Sex is just part of a much bigger picture for them. And this bigger picture includes, inter alia, money, respect, social status and probably lots of other things and they're always out to get a bargain, always willing to give up something in order to get something else, which they perceive as being better than what they're giving up. So when proposed to by Darcy the first time, Elizabeth turns him down, sexually attractive though she may have found him from the very start, there's still other considerations that make her say no. She doesn't want condescension, she wants respect. Simply being provided for financially in return for sex, which she might even enjoy, simply doesn't cut it for her.


Now, when does her attitude to Darcy change? Of course Darcy's defense of his actions in the Wickham affair plays its part, but then there's his detestable treatment of Elizabeth's sister, which Darcy doesn't even regret in his letter, so obviously Elizabeth still has plenty to have a grudge against him about. But then her aunt takes her to see Pemberley and the moment her eyes first fall on the magnificent mansion it's love at first sight. Lizzy finally finds her bargain, plus at this stage she already knows she has leverage over Darcy, him having confessed his "adoration" for her. Once shown around the house at Pemberley, she says, 'to think I could have been the mistress of all this", with a dreamy expression on her face. Sure Darcy is an ass, but he's an ass desperate to have sex with her, so ideas are coming, sex is power, she can improve him, she can get him to do things he might not have otherwise even thought of doing. The Pemberley estate is what convinces Lizzy Darcy's not such a bad choice after all, considering he's not a complete idiot like Mr. Collins. She says as much to Jane later on.
There's an old joke that goes, men love women, women love children, children love hamsters and hamsters don't love anybody. In reality only the first statement in this joke is true, men love women (sexually), women are more interested in the kind of life men can give them. Note that it's not necessarily always about money, it can be peace of mind or something similar, less tangible than cash, but women falling for men for sex's sake is a phenomenon that happens once in a blue moon, maybe. Usually it's other things.


And thus in Pride and Prejudice, Love trumps all, Darcy's love for Elizabeth's eyes and body, in other words his desire to have sex with her, trumps his pride and Elizabeth's love for Darcy's magnificent estate at Pemberley trumps her prejudice against him. In the end lover conquers all, it's just that it's different kinds of lover for men and women